Thursday, 12 April 2012

What courage is...

Courage.
In my opinion, there's two types of it: Bravery and Bravado.
Sometimes we generate this 'home-made' courage inside of us, a dilute mixture of deep breaths and positive thinking. It'll be a familiar concoction to you I'm sure, it's when you walk with a lifted chin, shoulders back and try to appear mature, grown up or in-charge (when really we're just a bunch of floundering little girls who panic at the thought of flying the nest! Or at least some of us out there are.)

But I'm going to break some, perhaps welcome, news to you at this point:

That is not courage.

True courage is divine. It's when your soul says 'YES' but your head and heart shout 'NO!' (Or maybe, 'No way not in a million years, you'd have to drag me by the ankles and whip me with a garden spade.') It's approaching situations not with fleeting, momentary confidence- a sudden spark, a flood of adreneline- but with the wind of god on your cheeks and his breath on your lips. We can be confident when we know God's on our side. We can be brave when we know he's holding our hand. We can square up to fear when we know we're not alone. OR... we can embrace it all, every last terrifying risk life has to offer, every dagger it has to throw and abandon inhibition all together- stand on God's shoulders and be: fear-less.
There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear...
1 John 4:18

I'm Walking on Sunshine

So after my rather 'heart-pouring-out-into-the-public-domain' post yesterday, I thought I'd lighten the mood again!

I bought some new shoes. Summer wasn't coming fast enough, so here is my own bit of summer, which I can spread wherever I go...


They don't match my outfit but I'm going to wear them anyway...

I think that's it apart from... I have amazing friends!! And God is good, even when I'm not.

That is all.

Have a good day <3

Wednesday, 11 April 2012

A Long Absence

I would do a lovely introduction, but that would be beating around the bush and I've been doing that for far too long.

Do you ever have those days where you're just 'out of it'?
I've had several months like this.

I've never been drunk, so I'm not entirely sure what its like, but I'm guessing how I've felt is a bit like that. Everything is kind of real, but oh so very much not! You can hear and see and smell and know and think, but you can't really respond. Because you can't really feel.

Most of my friends know this already and they have been the most supportive Sisters in Christ a girl could ever wish for! They have prayed for me, comforted me, guided me, spoken Godly words of encouragement over me, and (most importantly of all) loved me!

Despite this, I haven't really had a truly emotional response to something in a very long while. It's just been a sort of sensational numbness.

And I've known what it is all along.

This is what its like to be distant from God. This is what its like to feel shame, and guilt, and hatred, and judgement, and loneliness, and fear, and self-consciousness, and worthlessness, and lies, and evil, and darkness and God-lessness. And I hate it.

'Just because you're present doesn't mean that you're here' ~ Switchfoot
I have become a shadow of myself. I'm the same shape as me but I'm hollow and empty. You and I may recognize me, but we can't know me. Not this me. This me is so absent from the me that God sees me as and the me that God is calling me to be that it hurts. It aches. Its tearing me apart. Its dangerous to know this me.

God is forgiving. If I want to feel absolution, then I have to seek God.
God is peace. If I want to feel contentment, then I have to seek God.
God is comfort. If I want to feel companionship, then I have to seek God.
God is beauty. If I want to feel worth loving, then I have to seek God.
God is truth. If I want to feel reality, then I have to seek God.
God is love. If I want to feel emotions, then I have to seek God.
God is my identity. If I want to find myself, then I have to seek God.

And I have been absent from myself for a long while.

A message to me: With His strength I will find my way back to you...

Monday, 9 April 2012

Jesus Christ is alive (and a story about throwing eggs down a hill)


Mona Lisa

Smurf
Mr Potato Head




The whole motley crew :)

And the throwing commences...
An explanation: It's a tradition that my family has that on the night before Easter, we hard boil eggs and decorate them however we like. The next day, we hike up a hill and roll them down. The winner is the person whose egg survives the longest. Sound random? It is. But we have a lot of fun doing it! This year, we asked some of our friends to join in the festivities, so there was a whole group of us.

I love traditions like this, and I love that I can have a laugh with my family!





aaand... a half pyramid!

My sister's a gymnast... I think that's pretty cool :)

Don't ask!
Despite the fun that we had, the highlight of Easter Sunday for me was my brother's baptism. It was so amazing that his baptism coincided with the day on which Jesus rose! He gave an incredible (and very funny!) testimony in which he celebrated the impact that the truth of Jesus Christ has had on his life. I'm proud to have a brother like him! 

Dead to self...

Alive in Christ! :)

There was also this adorable 6 year old girl who was baptized in the same service. Instead of giving a testimony, her youth leader asked her a few questions:

Youth leader: So, L, why do you want to get baptized?

L: Because Jesus told me to.


Youth Leader: How do you know that he told you to?

L: Because I prayed and asked him.

Youth Leader: So what does it mean to you to be baptized?

L: I'm fulfilling what Jesus told me to do.

How amazing that she is so sure of her relationship with Jesus at her young age, and that she knows when he is speaking to her. Bearing in mind that she said all this with a lisp and a little smile on her face, it was incredibly cute!

Love,

Megan

P.S. What are your family traditions?

Saturday, 7 April 2012

Like something out of a dream...

The title may seem a little vague...you're probably thinking: Explain yourself Gina! It's not that mystical actually...I probably just chose it to be provocative ;) Well, the long and short of it is that we had an afternoon which was just amazing and it came totally out of no where.

Literally, we were trudging through the usual grey, cloudy school days and suddenly WHAM: Blue skies, sunshine, warmth! We'd been planning on going to the river anyway for my photography A2 (I'm doing portraiture) but it was like God had suddenly blessed us - an example of his grace, totally undeserved favour!


The sun was so perfect, it made my pictures ten times better than what they would have been without it. And these guys were just so natural and willing and just flipping awesome!

We started off at my house, just picking a spot and snapping a photo. We grabbed a few props - a twee and quite cheesy basket of flowers and a book, and began to stoll around school. Eventually though our wandering feet took us through daffodils, berries, trees and down to the river where we found such a picturesque little spot - a guarenteed picnic site for next term.


'The heavens declare the glory of God;
the skies proclaim the work of his hands.
Day after day they pour forth speech;
night after night they reveal knowledge.
They have no speech, they use no words;
no sound is heard from them.
Yet their voice goes out into all the earth,
their words to the ends of the world.
'
Psalm 19

~


~


~


Thank you sunshine, thank you friends, thank you God!

Gina

How To Learn a Quote

This may not seem like the most interesting blog post ever, but hopefully- in the season of exams and past-papers and revision- it may be a helpful one! At least to any English Lit students out there...

1) Make a list of the ones you want to learn. Start with the first one and repeat it over and over. Then say it, add the second one and repeat the second over and over (make sure you say the first from memory.) Then say the first and second once, add a third, and repeat the third over and over. Then say the first and second and third once, and from memory, add a fourth, and repeat the fourth over and over. Guess what comes next... :)

2) How to get them to stick whilst repeating them:
A- Set a rhythm to the quote, and make sure you stick to the beat.
B- Say it and stress a different word each time
C- Make actions up to it
D- Associate an object with it, then when you look at that object, you'll always remember it. In theory...
E- Put it on a Post-it note and stick it up in prominent places in your house
F- Blur some of the words together into a new, more interesting word, that'll stick into your memory!
    Here's a few my sister and I had (I reccomend doing this with someone! It's funny, and humour makes it stick!) If anyone can guess them I'll be impressed...
> Yoothsumalov
> Ajwintersgell
> Medicinufahouse

Hahaha.

And G) Go into town, grab the nearest stranger and shout it in their face.

That last one was a joke. I find B, C, F particularly helpful. Others... not so much.
Happy working!

Thursday, 5 April 2012

Unforgettable Memories ~ A Series

I have to say when I read Eve's first post of this series that I was powerfully moved. And at her prompting invitation at the end to add one of my own unforgettable memories, my initial thought was this:                .


Blank.


White.




Nothing.


Following this, when I tried to scramble for a memory, none of them felt right. I think I was trying too hard. Just a few minutes ago, after eating a picnic lunch outside in the ridiculously unusual English weather, sun beating down on my head, a few celandines caught my eye...




This immediately took me back to a truly unforgettable memory for me. My fingers instantly started weaving, punching holes and posting more celandines through each other until ta-dah! I had a Celandi-Chain (Is that a word? It is now.....)




As I sat there, gently, absentmindedly creating my childhood head garland, my mind wandered back to when I first learnt about Celandines. It was once again, a sunny spring day when I was 5, and my extended family and I were wandering down a village path to a small church. There were plants and weeds jumping out from every crack in the pavement and cobbled wall that they could. Being my true self, flowers were, as ever, of utmost importance. And this gleaming yellow flower, beckoning my eye to catch it's light, immediately made me burst out - 'BUTTERCUPS! Look, Mummy. Bapu, come here! It's nearly summer!!' Such innocent excitement. Bapu (my Grandpa.....it came from my cousin's interesting first attempt to say Grandpa!) knelt over next to me with an 'oof' and said - 'Ah, Sarah, you've not found a buttercup there. It's not quite summer yet. That's a celandine that's caught your attention!' After letting out a few bemused looks, a shy little smile came across my face and I exclaimed - 'Is it like a buttercup, just this is spring's one, and summer gets to have the normal buttercups?'

'Well, nearly,' said Bapu, 'it's just that if you look really, really closely, you can see that the celandines have more petals, and they're more pointed. Buttercups are rounded, more "cup" shaped like their name suggests!' He laughed a gentle but hearty chuckle and pulled himself up with another 'oof'. Off I ran with a wide smile on my face, burst into a conversation and said - 'Mummy, mummy! Look I've found a CELANDINE!' More smiles. And more hearty chuckles ring in my ears, even now, as if it were yesterday.

A few months later, Bapu passed away, and I decided that whenever I saw a celandine, I would think of him. And more than ten years later, I still do. It's a beautiful, ongoing memory for me. I love the way that the yellow gleams with the shiny, inner layer it holds on it's magnificent petals, subtly reflecting the sun's beam.

Perhaps there's a metaphor in there for us to learn from...How can we be active, attention-grabbing, gentle and spring-ful reflectors of our Son, Jesus Christ's powerful beam of light? Do we remember to ask the Spirit to fill us up with His graceful, beautiful, transforming presence so that we can have a layer that gleams inside of us? Because it's real and powerful - 'You will receive power when the Holy Spirit comes upon you' - Acts 1:8.

Have a great day!
And notice the celandines next time you go outside - maybe they can be a reminder for you to ask the Holy Spirit to fill you up.

Love,
Sarah



P.S. I've just come back from a lovely couple of days by the sea, so sorry this is late, but remember today's OPERATION SPEAK OUT! (See blog post below...)

Monday, 2 April 2012

Operation Speak Out

My friend Abi over at 'Creating Paper Dreams' (great blog, go and have a look...) had this brilliant idea of commenting on blogs, just for simple and honest encouragement on Thursday 5th April.

She says...
"On Thursday 5th April I am going to make it my mission to comment on EVERY BLOG I VISIT. Just for this one day I am going to speak out on these blogs. Blogs big and small. I will write a comment."
Let's join in... Have a read of her post:-

http://creatingpaperdreams.blogspot.co.uk/2012/03/operation-speak-out.html

Hope you're well, and see you on commenting Thursday!

Sarah xx