The Potter's Hands - Sarah

I think it's time for me to share with you what has been going on for the last three months. My only excuse for this enormous time delay is.... well, business and fulness of life! You will see what I mean in a second :)!

This time last year, I was applying deferred entry to uni. I knew I wanted to go to uni. I also knew I wanted a gap year - I always had done since my brother and sister went here there and everywhere on theirs, bringing back spiritual treasure with them each time. But I wanted to know what God's will for my gap year was. It was a time of doubt for me - am I even meant to be doing this, is this just my selfish human nature, I want to know God's heartbeat especially for this opportunity ... how do I find it? He spoke to me and confirmed my want to do Modern Languages next year. And the sense that I, and others kept coming back to was that God was saying "what do you want to do on your gap year?" It was like He was giving me the liberty and gift of this year. He was asking me to co-partner with Him. This is a really Biblical idea, and if I'm honest, I struggled to accept it. I just wanted God to give a sign out of the sky with an arrow saying GO HERE. But that didn't happen.
           What did happen was that I started to depend on Him more and more. That is one of the most valuable things! It was hard but looking back now, I wouldn't change that experience - I can see all that God was preparing me for. One day, my art teacher randomly suggested that I do an art foundation course. I wasn't totally sure, and if I'm really honest, I wanted to go off on some amazing exotic adventure rather than stay in England and study art.

I decided I'd apply and see if I got in because it is really competitive. When I visited the college, I loved it. I could really see myself fitting in. I had my interview and got a place, and I had this unexplainable ridiculous JOY. Whilst on the campus tour, I had an overwhelming sense of peace that just convicted me that this place was where I needed to be for my gap year. The Spirit of the Lord was moving in my heart.

I was really excited all summer leading up to it. And then 2 weeks before leaving home, a lot of "flaming arrows from the evil one" - I had allowed my "shield of faith" (Ephesians 6:16) to drop for that moment in time. But what this did mean was that I had to consciously choose to trust in God with every small ounce of strength in my body. If I didn't, I couldn't cope.
On the way down in the car with mum, we prayed and declared scripture all the way. We asked for someone nice to meet when I got there. We asked for things to keep my mind off home in the first week. We asked for Godly strength.

This song holds a lot of significance for me. It got me through the tough time of leaving home, leaving my safe childhood stepping out into an adventure with my Lord and Saviour. I didn't want to do it without Him! It is based on Psalm 18, have a listen!

God provided everything - every.single.thing that I needed. There was someone lovely that I met as soon as I got here. The first week was busy and I didn't miss home too much. The art course is amazing. Jesus is teaching me how to release His presence through art. The place is INSANE. I get to live by the sea!!! God just knows my heart so well - everything is so chilled; no one ever wears heels on a night out - I love that! Beautiful inspiration is all around me. He has planted me so well in places that hold no coincidence. I have been able to witness so much to my friends. God has blessed me with a church that just wants to know the Father's heart.

And it's true, there are hard things: - It is not always easy being away from home. And I have had to step out of my comfort zone a lot. But I'm not so fearful of doing that now. God is shaping me in radical ways, in ways that only He can do. I wouldn't change that for anything. And whilst part of me still wishes I got to go travel, I know that deep deep in my heart, I am in the right place for this year. No hardship that I encounter can ever take away from the all-surpassing greatness of knowing Him! I do have a long summer holidays, so am praying about what to do with them :)! Please join me in praying.

So I'll leave you with a word of encouragement and advice for you all -
This experience has made me realise that I just don't want to go anywhere that God is not calling me to be. Sometimes you have to look really hard to find what that may be, but believe me, it is such an important thing. "Keep on seeking, and you will find" Matthew 7:7.

He is shaping me in His potter's hands. And I believe that I really am just a jar of clay made to shine with the Lord's glorious treasure. (2 Corinthians 4:7)
With love,
Sarah xx

Never forget that

In a few weeks' time everything I know will simply be a memory. The place that I've called 'home' and  the people that I've called 'family' are going to violently ripped away from me. Put slightly less dramatically, School will be finishing... Forever. And ever. And. Ever. (I lied about the 'less dramatic' part!)

I don't know about you guys, but I love my school. I love the 'quintessential' grounds, the teachers who feel like friends, the atmosphere that just screams 'God is present', but most of all the people who I have gradually come to know as a part of me.

I can't walk around school without remembering a thousand different memories.

This is the library where we decided to smuggle in a picnic one day and where have got to a stage of having 'our' seats. This is the classroom that holds so many memories of GCSE English and too many laughs to count. These are the toilets where we locked all the doors and I fell in the toilet after breaking the lid that I was standing on. This is the dining room where we have sat for hours eating, laughing, praying, foot stomping, shouting, and frequently getting told off for doing so. This is the stage where I met a person I shouldn't have, as well as having an oodle of laughs with the 'Hot Box girls'. This is the art block where 'under pressure' was sung in the last 5 minutes of an exam, we have been a bit 'in the dark', we never get a computer, we didn't get a cookie, but we have done some pretty ridiculous stuff for our grades. This is the Hockey block where we were threatened with a 'sitting plan' every week and crawled on the floor doing gun drills (for CCF, I hasten to add!). This is the bridge we hid under during a 'latin treasure hunt'. These are our 'preferred' toilets which we daily frequent, even when half of us are actually only keeping the other half 'company', which sertinly amuses some people. This is the room where I'm never lonely, we stay up until the wee hours of the morning, we watch endless movies, we strum guitars, we write songs, we occasionally do some work, and we get to share each other's company. This is the house that always has an open door, always warms our hearts, lights our smiles, calms our troubled minds, provides props for our photography, quenches our thirst with endless cups of tea, and can be called none other than 'The Tea House'.

For anyone who thinks several of those memories were ridiculously weird, then you would be excused for thinking so, but I think we've all got to a stage now where we can embrace our insanity. It stems from being in the company of good friends, and my friends are simply wonderful.

As we come to the end of our time together, I want us to remember the laughs, but also the tears. We have all faced troubles in one way or another but with amazingly comforting friends and a glorious God, these times have shaped us to become the (Dare I say?) 'women' of God that we are today.

The constant in our relationships has always been God and although the rest of our lives look utterly terrifying, as long as we have Him, then we will always hold a tiny piece of each other.

Right now, I want to look at these few short weeks ahead and cherish the present. It truly is a gift.

Whatever the future brings I want you all to know that in this moment, I love you. Please never forget that.

For God has not given us a spirit of fear and timidity, but of power, love and self-discipline ~ 2 Timothy 1:7

A time of day...

Dusk.

It's transient, it's inbetween.

It smells tangible, yet it's not really present.

It looks like tommorow and it looks like today.

It's the line where they meet, it's the point where we fade.

Dusk creeps up, silently stilling the birdsong

It falls like a bridge... between now and then.

It tells us we're almost there.

It lulls us to sleep.

It's my favourite time of day. If in fact you can call it that-

-when 'day' is gone and night meets its match.

Dusk is a time for reflection, a time for preparation, a time to admit

that that's just it. You've had your hours.

The minutes are gone like the light.

Like a nesting bird, and a sleepy firefly, Dusk stills the heat and

brings the coolness of night.

Or infact of flight. In our dreams.

Dusk is neither here nor there.

It slips by unoticed.

It slips by.

It's vanished.