The Potter's Hands - Sarah

I think it's time for me to share with you what has been going on for the last three months. My only excuse for this enormous time delay is.... well, business and fulness of life! You will see what I mean in a second :)!

This time last year, I was applying deferred entry to uni. I knew I wanted to go to uni. I also knew I wanted a gap year - I always had done since my brother and sister went here there and everywhere on theirs, bringing back spiritual treasure with them each time. But I wanted to know what God's will for my gap year was. It was a time of doubt for me - am I even meant to be doing this, is this just my selfish human nature, I want to know God's heartbeat especially for this opportunity ... how do I find it? He spoke to me and confirmed my want to do Modern Languages next year. And the sense that I, and others kept coming back to was that God was saying "what do you want to do on your gap year?" It was like He was giving me the liberty and gift of this year. He was asking me to co-partner with Him. This is a really Biblical idea, and if I'm honest, I struggled to accept it. I just wanted God to give a sign out of the sky with an arrow saying GO HERE. But that didn't happen.
           What did happen was that I started to depend on Him more and more. That is one of the most valuable things! It was hard but looking back now, I wouldn't change that experience - I can see all that God was preparing me for. One day, my art teacher randomly suggested that I do an art foundation course. I wasn't totally sure, and if I'm really honest, I wanted to go off on some amazing exotic adventure rather than stay in England and study art.

I decided I'd apply and see if I got in because it is really competitive. When I visited the college, I loved it. I could really see myself fitting in. I had my interview and got a place, and I had this unexplainable ridiculous JOY. Whilst on the campus tour, I had an overwhelming sense of peace that just convicted me that this place was where I needed to be for my gap year. The Spirit of the Lord was moving in my heart.

I was really excited all summer leading up to it. And then 2 weeks before leaving home, a lot of "flaming arrows from the evil one" - I had allowed my "shield of faith" (Ephesians 6:16) to drop for that moment in time. But what this did mean was that I had to consciously choose to trust in God with every small ounce of strength in my body. If I didn't, I couldn't cope.
On the way down in the car with mum, we prayed and declared scripture all the way. We asked for someone nice to meet when I got there. We asked for things to keep my mind off home in the first week. We asked for Godly strength.

This song holds a lot of significance for me. It got me through the tough time of leaving home, leaving my safe childhood stepping out into an adventure with my Lord and Saviour. I didn't want to do it without Him! It is based on Psalm 18, have a listen!

God provided everything - every.single.thing that I needed. There was someone lovely that I met as soon as I got here. The first week was busy and I didn't miss home too much. The art course is amazing. Jesus is teaching me how to release His presence through art. The place is INSANE. I get to live by the sea!!! God just knows my heart so well - everything is so chilled; no one ever wears heels on a night out - I love that! Beautiful inspiration is all around me. He has planted me so well in places that hold no coincidence. I have been able to witness so much to my friends. God has blessed me with a church that just wants to know the Father's heart.

And it's true, there are hard things: - It is not always easy being away from home. And I have had to step out of my comfort zone a lot. But I'm not so fearful of doing that now. God is shaping me in radical ways, in ways that only He can do. I wouldn't change that for anything. And whilst part of me still wishes I got to go travel, I know that deep deep in my heart, I am in the right place for this year. No hardship that I encounter can ever take away from the all-surpassing greatness of knowing Him! I do have a long summer holidays, so am praying about what to do with them :)! Please join me in praying.

So I'll leave you with a word of encouragement and advice for you all -
This experience has made me realise that I just don't want to go anywhere that God is not calling me to be. Sometimes you have to look really hard to find what that may be, but believe me, it is such an important thing. "Keep on seeking, and you will find" Matthew 7:7.

He is shaping me in His potter's hands. And I believe that I really am just a jar of clay made to shine with the Lord's glorious treasure. (2 Corinthians 4:7)
With love,
Sarah xx

Stepping Out.

Hi all.

Last Friday, all seven of us at The Tea House, as well as another friend did something I am incredibly proud of. It's something that doesn't come massively naturally to any of us, making it all the more a better reason to do it, stepping out of our comfort zones.

We performed.
On stage.
To the whole school and visitors.

We sang, strummed, tinkled, picked, twiddled and hit all the instruments we knew how to, with everything we had within us, and took part in our school's band event. Us.........a band.....cool right?!

It was something we have been practicing for weeks and weeks, getting all those fine details to a T. It was so much fun doing all the rehearsals, and our friendship grew even deeper because of it. But as we approached the real day, an ever-increasing lump of fear seemed to grow in all our throats - one that can't easily be swallowed. Knowing that we would have to get up on stage and for me, be as vulnerable as it gets in front of everyone - sing.

I'm pretty sure the rest of Jasper and Carnelian (our band name; the beautiful colours described in Revelation to reflect God's throne) checked themselves, as I did, in the run-up to the event. I asked myself, seriously, why am I doing this? (A tip for anyone facing any challenges - always check your motives. It allows the Lord to enter in and move in power!) Well, I was having fun making something I love with my friends - music. I was showing everyone that I wasn't too scared to perform. I was doing one of my favourite things- singing harmonies.

But none of these reasons seemed to cut it for me. The one and only reason that did was this:


Jesus.



HE was the one that gave such life to us all as we put those songs together. HE was the one that gave us the stamina to keep going when so many other bands dropped out. And most of all, HE was the one that I wanted to do it for, to give praise to through performing, to thank him for blessing us with music, with amazing friendship, with the opportunity to share some of our identities with the school.

Without Him, I was nothing. We were nothing.

Just before we headed out on stage, we all prayed together, asking the Lord's spirit to be over us, and for God to shine through us. I felt energised, ready to go ... excited! And we had so much fun playing those two amazing songs to everyone, it sounded our best yet. I loved every second of it.

It felt like I had kicked down a wall by stepping out into something I wasn't entirely comfortable in doing. I'd like to encourage you to do the same. It was so worth it! Momentarily scary, but eternally rewarding.

The two songs we played were 'Faint Not' by Jenny & Tyler (if you haven't already, check out this amazing American couple who make gorgeous music together as a living) and 'Souvenirs' by Switchfoot (all of us' favourite band). They are not light-hearted songs, and have a deeper meaning that resonates with all of us. Here's some snapshots of my favourite parts:

"Where there is hatred let me sow love
Where there is injury let me pardon
Where there is darkness let the light come, come"

"We quit because it's not an easy fix
And then forget that they are even there
We forget to care"

---

"Here's to the twilight
Here's to the memories
These are my souvenirs
My mental pictures of everything"

"We were so young
We had no idea
That life was just happening"

I can't tell you what I joy it has been to treasure these last few weeks with you, my friends. We'll never forget this. In no particular order....Gina, you led so brilliantly, both instruments - voice and guitar - sounded beautiful. Megan B, I'm so proud of you performing. Your flute playing graced our pieces with utterly blissful delicacy. Kate, you underestimated your ability to play everything perfectly on stage...gorgeous! Abbie, I am amazed you only just learnt bass for this, you sounded like a pro. An absolutely essential asset to the band. Milla, your beautiful way with the piano was mesmerising, especially finishing off 'Faint Not'. Connie, thanks so much for doing drums with us, it sounded fantastic and you helped us keep the beat. Eve, it was so much fun doing harmonies with you, the judges noticed...thanks for adding all that much needed passion to the songs. And lastly, but not leastly Megan D, you were a brilliant and trustworthy techy for us! We would have really struggled without you.

You are all amazing and pride bursts in my heart thinking back to us standing on that lonely stage on a day never to be forgotten....Friday 1 June 2012.
One of my bucket lists ticked off - play in a band.

With lots of love
Sarah

P.S. On a side note - check out Kate's bio! She's finally done it! It's inspirational stuff...