The Potter's Hands - Sarah

I think it's time for me to share with you what has been going on for the last three months. My only excuse for this enormous time delay is.... well, business and fulness of life! You will see what I mean in a second :)!

This time last year, I was applying deferred entry to uni. I knew I wanted to go to uni. I also knew I wanted a gap year - I always had done since my brother and sister went here there and everywhere on theirs, bringing back spiritual treasure with them each time. But I wanted to know what God's will for my gap year was. It was a time of doubt for me - am I even meant to be doing this, is this just my selfish human nature, I want to know God's heartbeat especially for this opportunity ... how do I find it? He spoke to me and confirmed my want to do Modern Languages next year. And the sense that I, and others kept coming back to was that God was saying "what do you want to do on your gap year?" It was like He was giving me the liberty and gift of this year. He was asking me to co-partner with Him. This is a really Biblical idea, and if I'm honest, I struggled to accept it. I just wanted God to give a sign out of the sky with an arrow saying GO HERE. But that didn't happen.
           What did happen was that I started to depend on Him more and more. That is one of the most valuable things! It was hard but looking back now, I wouldn't change that experience - I can see all that God was preparing me for. One day, my art teacher randomly suggested that I do an art foundation course. I wasn't totally sure, and if I'm really honest, I wanted to go off on some amazing exotic adventure rather than stay in England and study art.

I decided I'd apply and see if I got in because it is really competitive. When I visited the college, I loved it. I could really see myself fitting in. I had my interview and got a place, and I had this unexplainable ridiculous JOY. Whilst on the campus tour, I had an overwhelming sense of peace that just convicted me that this place was where I needed to be for my gap year. The Spirit of the Lord was moving in my heart.

I was really excited all summer leading up to it. And then 2 weeks before leaving home, a lot of "flaming arrows from the evil one" - I had allowed my "shield of faith" (Ephesians 6:16) to drop for that moment in time. But what this did mean was that I had to consciously choose to trust in God with every small ounce of strength in my body. If I didn't, I couldn't cope.
On the way down in the car with mum, we prayed and declared scripture all the way. We asked for someone nice to meet when I got there. We asked for things to keep my mind off home in the first week. We asked for Godly strength.

This song holds a lot of significance for me. It got me through the tough time of leaving home, leaving my safe childhood stepping out into an adventure with my Lord and Saviour. I didn't want to do it without Him! It is based on Psalm 18, have a listen!

God provided everything - every.single.thing that I needed. There was someone lovely that I met as soon as I got here. The first week was busy and I didn't miss home too much. The art course is amazing. Jesus is teaching me how to release His presence through art. The place is INSANE. I get to live by the sea!!! God just knows my heart so well - everything is so chilled; no one ever wears heels on a night out - I love that! Beautiful inspiration is all around me. He has planted me so well in places that hold no coincidence. I have been able to witness so much to my friends. God has blessed me with a church that just wants to know the Father's heart.

And it's true, there are hard things: - It is not always easy being away from home. And I have had to step out of my comfort zone a lot. But I'm not so fearful of doing that now. God is shaping me in radical ways, in ways that only He can do. I wouldn't change that for anything. And whilst part of me still wishes I got to go travel, I know that deep deep in my heart, I am in the right place for this year. No hardship that I encounter can ever take away from the all-surpassing greatness of knowing Him! I do have a long summer holidays, so am praying about what to do with them :)! Please join me in praying.

So I'll leave you with a word of encouragement and advice for you all -
This experience has made me realise that I just don't want to go anywhere that God is not calling me to be. Sometimes you have to look really hard to find what that may be, but believe me, it is such an important thing. "Keep on seeking, and you will find" Matthew 7:7.

He is shaping me in His potter's hands. And I believe that I really am just a jar of clay made to shine with the Lord's glorious treasure. (2 Corinthians 4:7)
With love,
Sarah xx

The smell of the lavender bush in my garden mingled with my mother's perfume.
The cool summer breeze, dancing on my skin.
Gentle hands working through my tangled hair.
Being carried by strong arms after falling asleep on a long journey. 
The sound of out of an out of tune violin played by an 8 year old.
The hours spent snuggled up to my sister watching old films.
Pillow fights that lasted until all that was left was feathers and depleted pillow cases. 
The sound of laughter ringing through the house, filling each crevice.
Squeals at 6AM, because it's Christmas day and it's allowed.
The fractured feel of branches and the instability of my balance as I climb trees and wonder how I will get down.
My Dad's smile travelling to his eyes and resting there for a while. 
Being tucked into bed every night, with a kiss and a whispered 'I love you.'

The days of making dens, running, falling, laughing, seeking. 
The days in which I met my saviour, grew to love him and to know him.

And now I am sitting, looking into his eyes as he takes my hand and leads me on.

Unforgettable Memories ~ A Series

I have to say when I read Eve's first post of this series that I was powerfully moved. And at her prompting invitation at the end to add one of my own unforgettable memories, my initial thought was this:                .


Blank.


White.




Nothing.


Following this, when I tried to scramble for a memory, none of them felt right. I think I was trying too hard. Just a few minutes ago, after eating a picnic lunch outside in the ridiculously unusual English weather, sun beating down on my head, a few celandines caught my eye...

This immediately took me back to a truly unforgettable memory for me. My fingers instantly started weaving, punching holes and posting more celandines through each other until ta-dah! I had a Celandi-Chain (Is that a word? It is now.....)

As I sat there, gently, absentmindedly creating my childhood head garland, my mind wandered back to when I first learnt about Celandines. It was once again, a sunny spring day when I was 5, and my extended family and I were wandering down a village path to a small church. There were plants and weeds jumping out from every crack in the pavement and cobbled wall that they could. Being my true self, flowers were, as ever, of utmost importance. And this gleaming yellow flower, beckoning my eye to catch it's light, immediately made me burst out - 'BUTTERCUPS! Look, Mummy. Bapu, come here! It's nearly summer!!' Such innocent excitement. Bapu (my Grandpa.....it came from my cousin's interesting first attempt to say Grandpa!) knelt over next to me with an 'oof' and said - 'Ah, Sarah, you've not found a buttercup there. It's not quite summer yet. That's a celandine that's caught your attention!' After letting out a few bemused looks, a shy little smile came across my face and I exclaimed - 'Is it like a buttercup, just this is spring's one, and summer gets to have the normal buttercups?'

'Well, nearly,' said Bapu, 'it's just that if you look really, really closely, you can see that the celandines have more petals, and they're more pointed. Buttercups are rounded, more "cup" shaped like their name suggests!' He laughed a gentle but hearty chuckle and pulled himself up with another 'oof'. Off I ran with a wide smile on my face, burst into a conversation and said - 'Mummy, mummy! Look I've found a CELANDINE!' More smiles. And more hearty chuckles ring in my ears, even now, as if it were yesterday.

A few months later, Bapu passed away, and I decided that whenever I saw a celandine, I would think of him. And more than ten years later, I still do. It's a beautiful, ongoing memory for me. I love the way that the yellow gleams with the shiny, inner layer it holds on it's magnificent petals, subtly reflecting the sun's beam.

Perhaps there's a metaphor in there for us to learn from...How can we be active, attention-grabbing, gentle and spring-ful reflectors of our Son, Jesus Christ's powerful beam of light? Do we remember to ask the Spirit to fill us up with His graceful, beautiful, transforming presence so that we can have a layer that gleams inside of us? Because it's real and powerful - 'You will receive power when the Holy Spirit comes upon you' - Acts 1:8.

Have a great day!

And notice the celandines next time you go outside - maybe they can be a reminder for you to ask the Holy Spirit to fill you up.

Love,

Sarah

P.S. I've just come back from a lovely couple of days by the sea, so sorry this is late, but remember today's OPERATION SPEAK OUT! (See blog post below...)